Born 1965, born again 1984. Jesus has made a major impact on my life. It's not that I don't have struggles. It's not even that Jesus doesn't occasionally do things that make me very uncomfortable. He is very good for me.

Let me tell you what Jackie did to me...

I was at Bible College and met Jackie, a black African lady from Burundi. There were some things I didn't really like about Jackie (not her colour) and decided to put distance between us. I wasn't horrible, I just avoided her.

Many Christians now believe in the baptism of the Holy Spirit and the Gifts of the Holy Spirit, and so does my Bible College. On Thursday we have "Prayer Academy" where different lecturers teach us on various aspects of "doing the stuff". One Thursday, the lecturer said we would practice the prophesying over each other and that we should form pairs.

I was curious as to who liked me enough to pair up with me, so I didn't seek a partner. Everyone paired up except for a young German guy called Kai, and, you guessed it, Jackie. Kai was nearer to me than Jackie, so we would be partners and Jackie would partner with lecturer, so that was okay.

Well, it was okay until the lecturer said "Jackie, I am your mentor. I know you too well. Kai, please partner with me and Jackie can partner with Alan". Oh great, I thought. :-(

So Jackie and I partnered and I asked God what He wanted me to say. Immediately, three things came into mind, the first of which was "prejudice". I started speaking to her what I believe were God's words, starting with "I know the prejudice you experience...", then I spoke on the other 2 topics too. At the end of it Jackie was crying as I had apparently been accurate in sharing God's words with her.

The problem for me was that as I spoke on the prejudice Jackie was experiencing, I was feeling convicted by God about how I had treated her. Was I not being prejudiced by avoiding contact with her?

Over the next 10 days, I considered how I had treated her, and realised that it wasn't just her I was doing this to. There were various people I did not engage with in similar ways, for various reasons. Essentially, I realised what a hypocrite I was being in this area.

I caught up with Jackie 11 days later and apologised for my behaviour. She made me feel terrible. She overwhelmed me with such love and forgiveness that my sin was acutely exposed. She said that my behaviour had changed from that prophecy session (I got something right in this!). She said that every time she'd seen me avoid her, she'd forgiven me and prayed for me. I felt so convicted!

This happened 3 months ago, and I am still seeing situations where I have lived the same dynamic as with Jackie. People I have avoided for various reasons, usually because I've taken offence at something they've done (or not done).

I have definitely grown and become kinder as a result, but it is never comfortable when God shows me something of my sin.

God has always known of this issue in my life, and it's only His mercy that means he accepts me.

I praise God for Jackie and what she taught me about love, acceptance and forgiveness.